“Nothing will ever hit you this hard”
This was said to Ruth right after Lyle’s accident, and it
makes so much sense. And I think that by telling this to Ruth face to face,
right after it happened somehow made it okay. As if it were easier for her to
accept that that instant, that day, and that departure would be the hardest
thing she would ever encounter. I think this helped Ruth to get along better in
the long run because it was acknowledgement- acknowledgment clearly took her
farther than being in denial would have.
Bastard Out of Carolina hit me like a sack of bricks. I
empathize with Ruth, of course. But personally I can empathize with Bone even
more. I didn’t grow up with my either of my parents, which allows me to really
dig deep into the meaning of her character, her mindset, and to also understand
her positionality a little better. In the second chapter Bone starts to reveal
her feelings toward her father a little more clearly- she says that there aren’t
any pictures of her real dad and that her mama won’t talk about him. Her grandma
goes on to explain to her that her father is now married with six “LEGAL”
children, a steady, good job, and had never been to jail. First of all, it is
heartbreaking for me to hear that, let alone how she must have felt knowing
that her father was doing well without her and has other children. It makes me
really mad that the grandma would even tell her that, reading the story it
sounded like the grandma was more so telling Bone all of this out of spite
rather than out of good intentions- almost like the grandma is still mad at him
for knocking up her daughter at such a young age and she somehow feeling like
she is “getting back” at him by telling all of this to his daughter? (sidequestion:
why are all of the grandmas in these stories assholes). This instance has
happened to me- where my aunt would tell me a whole bunch of bad things about
my parents- but like why? Why couldn’t the grandma just not say anything at
all? I know Bone is curious and she does ask questions throughout the story,
but she is a child. I feel like the grandma should at least try and cushion the
blow, maybe not come right out and say “oh, he’s doing fine with his wife and 6
LEGAL kids, and not you.”
To make matters worse, Bone goes on to compare herself and
her appearance to her mom and her aunt’s, and that’s a level of frustration I
can understand. I grew up with my aunt and uncle and their twin daughters- whom
I look absolutely nothing alike. Luckily, Bone’s mama came through and insisted
that she was going to grow up to show resemblance to her granddaddy. The
sincerest thing Bone could have ever said in reply to her mama, “I smiled wide,
not really believing them but wanting to.”
“People pay for what they do, and still more, for what they
have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it simply: by the lives they
lead”
